Let’s be honest: texting is the best. No small talk. No “sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?” No awkward silence while you hunt for something to say. You type, you hit send, and you get to feel like you stayed in touch.
But what if the easy option isn’t always the one that helps us connect? Is a phone call instead of texting worth a few awkward seconds?
That’s the question behind a recent episode of The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos. It’s called “What Gets Lost When We Text Instead of Talk with Dr. Nick Epley.” The hosts taped it live at the World Happiness Summit at SXSW. Give it a listen if a long text thread has ever left you feeling oddly far from someone.
We have a lot of options, and we pick the comfy one
Here’s the setup from the episode description. For most of human history, we had one way to talk to each other: our voices. Now we can text, call, send a video message, or reach out on social media. According to the show, we often pick whichever option seems easiest or least awkward.
That sounds about right. When did you last choose a phone call over a text just because you felt like it?
The surprising part
The episode’s big idea is that how we communicate matters more than we realize. It can change how well we understand one another and how connected we feel. Laurie talks with Nick, a psychologist and the author of A Little More Social. They cover common communication mistakes and small changes that help.
The show page also lists a few of the studies behind the conversation. One title says a lot all by itself: “It’s surprisingly nice to hear you.” We may be guessing wrong about which option will feel best, for us and for the other person.
I’ll be upfront: I’m working from the episode description and the show notes, not a full transcript. I’ll leave the specific findings to Laurie and Nick. Their full conversation is a better teacher than my summary.
Try a phone call instead of texting this week
You don’t need a big life overhaul for this one. Think of one person you usually text, like an old friend, a sibling, or a former coworker. Call them instead. Yes, it might feel awkward for the first thirty seconds. That’s the price of admission.
Then notice how it goes. Did it feel better or worse than you expected? You might be surprised, which is exactly the point of the episode.
Listen to the full episode here: What Gets Lost When We Text Instead of Talk with Dr. Nick Epley, from The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos.
